ken

3 nollys are better than 1!

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:50:49 GMT

heres some pano fun we had when we went to fourknocks passage tomb last thursday. one the way there we passed a load of gardaí digging in a field. still havent found out who theyre looking for

Giants causeway samhain fun!

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:45:27 GMT

fiiiiinally got to go see the giants causeway last weekend because i had to go to a chritening in northern ireland last weekend.

and before i start talking about the causeway can i just say i now understand why there was 30 years of sectarian violence up there because 5 minutes into a 1 hour presbyterian service i wanted to pull out a machete and decapitate the bearded trendy young guy they brought on to show how jesus was 'hip' and 'with it'.
then there was the hippo. not the first thing i expected to see in my first saunter into protestantism. but yep there he was harry the feckin hippo and larry the fucking leprechaun (for us from dublin. oh ha ha) and how for some reason i couldnt remember the hippo was alot like king david. presumably because he collected 200 foreskins after a battle with the philistines.

i hate religion.

but not to get too side tracked. i was here to see the causeway (but if anyone from my family asks i was there to see my god daughter be protestantised) and this being hallowe'en or as its alternatively called here, samhain, which is also irish for november. where better to go than somewhere with absolutely no connection to it whatsoever.

although we could see donegal from where we were and the fomorians, the were mythical pirate monsters who introduced it, were from tory island just off it. yeah thats right hallowe'en was invented by irish pirate monsters, and we invented the jack -o-lantern and the headless horseman. and the submarine and tayto crisps. yay!

built in the economic oppression of the 1950s by unemployed navies to get to england and steal all their jobs and gelignite the made of a load of rocks. bet you didnt know that.

or some other sources say it a scottish giant who built to to have a row with fionn mac cumhall. others say it was a volcano. leading geologists have described it as 'fucking mental'

and aparantly you could walk all teh way to scotland on it. if it werent for the fucking sea in the way.

its also known as the largest/most useless organ in the world. *que joke about my willy*

and of course nolly got some climbing in :)

before comanding a huricane to blow all the tourists away

get in the round fucking hole you cunt!

anyway it was getting late so we decided that its was time to get back to our hotel get something hideous to eat and then horror movie marathon-ish

shucks.

Magazine wall

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 10:31:40 GMT

i found this brilliant website called abandonedireland.com which showcases loads of abandored buildings around the country. and theres no shortage. one of them was the magazine fort in the phoenix park.

i cant believe ive never been up to this before. ive driven around it alot. and the phoenix park its in is right in the middle of the city too but ive only seen it from the nottom of the hill it sits on so it looks fairly unimpressive from there.

so the plan was to hop over the wall or door and get inside to take some pictures. now the most famous story about this place is the 'christmas raid' where in 1939 the IRA broke in to the lightly defended fort (14 lads, ten guns) where the irish army held almost their entire supply of ammunition and nicked the lot. over 1million rounds.

so i figured if the IRA could do it with only a few fellas it shouldnt be too hard to get in. i subsequently read that how they got in was to knock at the door, wait for an answer and then walk in. unfortunetly since no one was there i couldnt do that so the only option was hoping over the gate.

fuck. that. 3 gates, barbed wire , spikey bits (probably covered in poo). i thought there wasnt a hope of getting in. but 3 10 year old kids managed to scale this because they have smaller feet so i might try again. still wasnt a complete loss

thankfully the deer were out again. well, theyre nearly always out, except when theres a gig on in the park and no one knows whats done with them. theyre pretty used to people too which is nice and there are bleedin 1000s of them all over the park

aaawww how pretty

deer mass!

seriously. i know one day that thing will be a national monument but isnt it the ugliest fucking thing youve ever seen in your life? all stuck up because of the bloody pope coming over

Top ten Total badass monsters from irish mythology!!!

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 11:51:18 GMT

Since its Halloween coming up soon. heres a list , in order of badassness to keep you interested,of the most fucked up gods, spirits and fairys from irish folklore. PREPARE FOR THE BADASSENING!!!!

1. the Banshee. Ssitting on a rock, combing her hair and letting out a god awefull scream, yep the queen of evil bitches is the banshee or fairy woman. this bitch is the only one that we were genuinely scared of as kids. imagine the boogyman coupled with screaming death bringing witch.

i remember once my sister telling me how a girl in her class saw a banshee and then her da died. that of course freaked me out big time. also if you saw a comb on the street, that was a banshee comb so youd have to run away screaming and check to see if your family was still alive. feckin wagon!

2. Balor of the evil eye. ok goliath was a big bloke, no arguement there. megatron could turn into a gun. sweet. the t-rex from jurrasic park was a giant scary looking motherfucker, cool. now imagine that theres a radiation leak or some sort of 'the fly' type transported accident and these all get melded into one. then youd come close to what the boul Balor is like.

balour is the king of the fomorians, big, giant, ugly, sea monster, pirate with LAZERS FOR FUCKING EYES! well eye, he only had one. this lads eye was so deadly he had to get 4 other lads to open it using a system of pulleys which would then let out a stream of death piss that could wipe out an entire army.

sadly Balor met his end at the hands of our very own spear_of_lugh's ancestor lugh himself who lashed a slingball or spear at him, knocked his evil eye out the back of his head and the eye then wiped out the fomorian army behind him.

the fomorians also gave us samhain, or hallowe'en. so just baaarely missed the top spot

3.Dullahan. RAAARRRR! you think the headless horseman was an edgar allen poe invention. think again wrong-o! this lad has the entire inventory of doom!

black horse? check!
black cape? check!
decaying head held out in hand? check!
human spine for a whip? check!

special skill: throwing buckets of blood in peoples faces for the laugh! just bring this guy up when hippys start going on about fairys being nice

4. cu chulainn when he does that warp spasm thing. yup him again, i seem to be writting alot about this guy recently. but seriously achilles just has a dodgy ankle. our lad cu chulainn can transform into a giant spasming monster with one eye sticking outside his head, the other reduced to a pin prick, his mouth down to his chest then go completely fucking postal at a whole army of lads and knock seven sets of be-jaysus out of the lot of him. incredible hulk eat your silly green heart out

5. the morrigan. transformers! women in disguise! now we all know how long it takes a woman to get ready. imagine if she also had to decide whether to be a snake, wolf, raven or eel? thats how our goddess of war works by turning into stuff to freak you out or slime you when your having a paddle. natural enemies? cockneys!

6. crom cruach. well when you have a name like this (best said by wikipedia).Crom (or cromm) means "bent, crooked, stooped". Cenn means "head". Cruach can be an adjective, "bloody, gory", or a noun, meaning variously "slaughter", "stack of corn", or "pile, heap, mound".

so bent slaughter, stooped pile, gory bender, stack of crooked blood corn, take your pick, they all beat ken. now if only those feckin germans would give back his head they nicked from kerry

7.the changeling. 'are you a witch or are you a fairy. or are you the wife of michael cleary'. in 1895 bridget cleary was burnt alive by her husband michael and his mates because michael was convinced that after a recent illness his wife had been abducted by fairys and the woman in his house was a changeling who was imitating her.

not only did this end poor bridgets life but it played a huge part in delaying irelands independace by about 20 years as it was used by british conservatives to prove the irish couldnt rule themselves. and you thought angelina jolie had it hard!

8. reanimated corpses from the dagdas cauldron! woohoo more zombies! the king of the tuath de dannan had a magic cauldron that could bring men back to life if theyd been killed in battle. leaving the dagda with an endless army of the undead that even a chansaw for a hand wouldnt be able to stop. maybe a lawnmower though

9. Púca. celtic shape shifting goat thing. probably on fire too and he mostly turns into a black horse with glowing eyes. the stuff black metalers have wet dreams about and then their ma has to clean up. this guy gets on the list because despite scaring the bejaysus out of people hell give you a ride on his back and will probably leave you with some good advise too

10. aughisky. water horse thing which would normally be quite tame and not worth mentioning but there was one in Lough Corrib had a serpent's body and a horse's head that used to break into graveyards and eat the dead. and yes we cant leave anything cuddly.

Booooooooooooooooorrrred

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:05:29 GMT

im sick and really board. im trying to do some irish study but my damn cold and daytime tv were preventing me

listen and repeat:

nilim abalta ag foilaim na teanga mar tá iomarca snot i mo ceann - i am not able to learn languages because ive too much snot in my head.
is fuadh loim mr bean. Cen faith go bhfuil siad abair se aris agus aris agus a-fucking-ris? - i hate mr bean. why to they have to repeat it again and again and a-fucking- gain

an bhuful an iasc a trisha - is trisha a fish?

This is fun...

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 10:35:59 GMT

Im having alot of fun reading the have your say section of the bbc news website in the wake of the Yes to lisbon on friday.

I was looking forward to this all along. After the last one when we voted no it was all 'the irish are the only ones that believe in democracy', 'ill be having a pint of guiness to celebrate'

now its all democracy is dead, giving out about the stupid irish, one guy even said he the new dictators are going to have to kill him in order to silence him

for someone who actually knows about the treaty....its bleedin hilarious

http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thread.jspa?sortBy=1&forumID=7071&start=0&tstart=0&edition=1&ttl=20091005110907#paginator

Irish Zombies. Na Neamh Mairbh

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:26:15 GMT

Yeah! Hows about some ancient zombie stories? who doesnt love zombies?

Once upon a time in a land a few miles away, well Derry to be specific, there lived a king who has become known as abhartach (pronounced ah-war-tok) which means dwarf. this guy was a cruel little bollox. nasty to his subjects, wouldnt put his hand in his pocket for a round, no free health care, was saying stuff about your ma! i wouldnt even repeat it.

so eventually the people of Derry had enough of this carry on and got a local chieftan to sort him out. some say it was Fionn Mac Cumhaill, in others hes named Cathrain. im gonna go with Fionn because hes cooler. So fionn kills abhartach and they bury him in a standing position outside the kings gaf.

the next day who should turn up again abhartach. risen from the grace like that fella ET. and hes not in the best form. so he goes off on one. being more cruel than before, killing people, distributing wedgies and encouraging the busses to be late. so whats Fionn to do only kill him again, and bury him again.

but the next day again its himself under his hat wrecking the place with his mad cruelty, looking for brains and spare change. 'ah for fuck sake!' says fionn ' i must be doing something wrong here'. so fionn goes and consults a druid who tells him what to do. fionn pays him his consultancy fee which he later claims back on expenses, which gets him a load of grief.

so off he goes, kills the zombie dwarf king, drags him out to the grave, burys him head down and puts a dolmen on top of it.

That dolmen is called Slaghtaverty Dolmen. In 1997 when workmen were trying to clear the hathorn tha gew around it. their chainsaws malfunctioned, a chain broke when tring to lift the capstone and someone fellover. some say it was the curse of abhartach, most say they were a bunch of fucking cowboys!

*************************************************************

ok both of these im doing from memory...

so cú chulainn like all legendary killing machines was having a bit of a rest. meanwhile king conchobar (pronounced conor) and the ulstermen decided to have a fight with Eógan mac Durthacht.

the ulstermen lost and their whinging woke cu chulainn up who went see what all the craic was. there he arrives on the battlefield only to see this fella walking towards him with half a head and he was carrying another fella who was cut in half.

now thicko magee here didnt know that he was a zombie and promptly asked cu chulainn for help. cu chulainn told him to fuck off so your man promptly threw half his brother at him. a bit miffed by this a row broke out with half-a-head o'reilly with his hands around cu chulainn neck trying to kill him. cu chulainn got thrown about a bit untill he heard the cry of the Morrigan from the heap of dead lads on the battle field. he then Warp spasmed (basically goes mental and contorts into an unstobable monster) says 'poor stuff for a warrior is he that is overturned by phantoms', takes out his hurley and knocks the rest of his head off.

he then proceeds to play hurling with the head while he looks for conchobar.

the brother is still out there

http://www.ucc.ie/celt/published/T301012/index.html

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 09:11:03 GMT

awww look at the cute little dolmen. Apparantly theres thousands in the burren next to Poulnabrone dolmen that the govenment are going to remove because theyre damaging the eco system (im not sure whats living there for it to qualify as an eco system)

i kinda like em though

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/1001/1224255613799.html

'Christ that high' cross

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 10:36:31 GMT

hwya ll. had a loverly weekend with the amazing nolly despite our respective broken-ness. photos of that to come but in the mean time heres some of a visit to monasterboise monastery up the road. i stopped off on my way back from cú chulainn's stone. now as far as monastaries go it does not have the all round awesomeness of glendalough or the political clout of clonmacnoise but it does have the coolest high crosses ive ever seen!

some bloke getting knifed, clearly after a trip to limerick

coooollll! not in bad nick at all considering its from the 10th century. say what you want about catholicism (and i usually will) but you have to give the old irish monks their due. these crosses are still not recognised by the church because of the roundy bit, which represents the sun. the irish church and rome were not the best of friends.

oooh detaily. this is supposed to be biblical scenes. im guess the crossy bit details when all the zombies took over the market in jerusalem. but then the israelites found the machine guns and they were all like. ratatatatatat! POW POW POW, eeeeeeeee BOOM!

deadly!

early irish dueling banjos. when they actually dueled by stabing the other lad in the crotch with it

two snakes a few heads and a hand that became the red hand of ulster 'where shouting NO became waving hello!' (my new slogan for ulster )

this is the Fucking high cross! 30 whole feet. not bad for lads that were only about 5 feet themselves

and seriously, the cross is not too big for him. he'll grow into it

and of course obligatory sundial, which would be great if we ever saw the sun. no wonder the irish are late for everything

Jaysus they wont give us paddys credit for anything

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 13:55:21 GMT

http://www.indymedia.ie/article/71184

and a jewish tourism advert for Ireland

http://tourismresources.ie/jewish/

haha thats brilliant. I bet you didnt know the irish are a lost tribe of israel? or to give them their full title the fucking lost tribe of israel. i can just imagine the scene.

'Ok lads!' says moses 'weve been walkin around this bleedin desert for 35 years. I think its best we split up'
'but wait a minute moses' says some bloke 'we only have one ark whos going to take it'
'good point' says moses 'we need to give it to a tribe who has impecable homing instincts. a tribe who no matter how shitfaced they get, no mater how many neon signs may tempt them with the promises of curry chips. they still manage somehow to make their way home.
wait......who was that tribe who when we were dieing of thirst did find the only off-liscence inthe sinai desert? give it to those lads, theyre surely the only ones who can deliver it safely to the promissed land.

que thirty years later...

'your going the wrong way Ger O'Miah'
'shut up i know where im going'
'call me stupid but the land of milk and honey is suposed to be in the desert. im bleedin freezin!'
'look. how about we keep going this way until we hit a giant impassable ocean. then well know we are going the wrong way and turn back'

i remember once i was at cairn T at loghcrew talking to a fella from the OPW who was telling me this american lad in a pointy hat turnd up with his followers saying cairn T was his burial mound as he was Jerimiah's reincarnation.
then there was the people who though the mounds were built by UFOs.

honestly they wont give us paddys credit for anything

Old man duffy shakes his fist at......Facebook

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 22:26:25 GMT

See us. our generation invented the internet! well maybe one or two older but the point remains that when we were kids we did not have it. when we wanted to know something we had to wallow in ignorance until someone made a TV program on it. we didnt have wikepedia, we had to rely on liars. we didnt have pirate bay, we had to wait until the song came on the radio then quickly press play and record on your shitty tape recorder and only catch half the song.

But the worst thing is facebook. kids these days use it to gather friends to prove how popular they are by flauting their friends number. you know what we had to do? we had to break a limb! we had to fall off a wall onto our wrist, shatter it into 20 pieces then be rushed to hospital to have a cast put on so we could go up to people who we know the names off and go 'sign my cast!'. once the whole thing is covered in pen we were popular again

they just dont know how lucky they are!

Ah back in the day

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:26:56 GMT

God. i was just reading this. when notorious Irish criminal Pyker Ryan was arrested by the NYPD in 1884 he had the following bill of fare on him

Punching $2
Both eyes blacked $4
Nose and jaw broke $10
Jacked out (knocked out with a Blackjack) $15
Ear chewed off $15
Leg or arm broke $19
Shot in the leg $25
Stab $25
"Doing the big job" (murder) $100 and up

$15 to chew someones ear off??? wait. how many pints is that?

Cú Chulainn's stone

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:18:14 GMT

after far too long a break from megalith hunting i decided to pop up to near the border to try and find Cú chulainn's stone.

this is one ive wanted to see since i was a kid and first learned there was an actual stone that is associated with the ould Setanta.

for those of you not familiar with the story. Cú chulainn the main character in the Táin bó cuaillgne (pronounced tawn bow cooley) or the cattle raid of cooley, alternatively called simply the táin.

basically the story is this. queen maeve of connaught and her blouse of a husband ailill have a bit of a row over who has the best stuff. they line all their posessions and it turns out that Ailill has a really pretty bull. maeve doesnt. so up comes a trouble making druid who tells her that king conor of ulster has a truely smashing bull and by happyness the men of ulster, though the best warriors in ireland are once a year afflicted by pregnancy pains that renders them incapable of doing pretty much anything (now thats a curse). so off they go to invade and steal the cow, but there was one thing they forgot.

cuchulainn is basically the predator of iron age ireland. young (about 17), beardless and completely unstopable. So cuchulainn is basically on his own against the whole army of connaght and her allies. being gentlemen they decide that single combat would be the way to go.....and promptly get the shit knocked out of them by cu chulainn. alls going well until Ferdia, cu chulainns foster brother has to fight him. after 3 days cu chulainn wins and that upsets him greatly. que more slughter. eventually cuchulainn is over come. so not one to give up a fight he straps himself to a standing stone, with his own entrails in some versions, and continues on fighting on his feet. the warriors will only go near him when they see a crow landing on him and they then know hes dead.

and this is the stone....

it was quite poiniant that upon entering the field there was a large flock of crows circling overhead.

me doing my best dieing cu chulainn stance.

one more shot for the road.

I headed back into ardee town to try and find my way back and saw this statue of cuchulainn carrying ferdia after the battle which was just by the river

The Táin is really ignored as part of european literary history. in my opinion its up there with the illiad. its ignored i think because irish culture was no where as influential as greek ,it was oral until the medieval period and unlike the trogan war it was not fought over something romantic like love or freedom but over whos got the prettiest bull. and thats what i love about it, EVERY war is over whos got the prettiest bull!

on the way back i stopped off in monasterboice. more pics to follow on that

Piccies

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:48:16 GMT

My shoulder hurts alot! so in frustration i decided to see what a few of my photos would look like in mono/duotone

beach. so not go on beaches on the irish sea, your feet will be destroyed by sharp shells and bits of boat

the sky. yes the sky

random horsey :)

small river in the wicklow mountains.

nolly walking on a fake passage tomb

old man doing best patrick kavanagh impression at free gig.

stupid immanent death!

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 11:07:40 GMT

So i was nearly in a plane crash last night. Not content with screwing me on airport charges. being half an hour late, ryanair decided to try and kill me.

there we are descending when about 20 feet off the ground the pilot pulls agressevly skyward again. and i mean very agressively. this meaned we had to circle for another 20 minutes before landing again. god i hate those people. and no i didnt get an explaination other that 'we missed'

apart from that weekend = awesome. was over in leeds with my beautiful girlfriend nollipop we went to York which is officially my new favourite place in england. theglaive you would have loved it. stay tuned for piccies. also loads of climbing and surprising lack of injuries today despite some very very very physical climbs.

anyhoo gotta dash back to work!

AAAGGH!!! rant on the lisbon treaty

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 16:51:23 GMT

i just had a screaming row with 6 support cóir campaighers who are advocating a no vote in the referendum on the lisbon treaty. i do get very angry with people who deliberatly misslead and outright lie about the facts in order to convince people to vote either way. but these guys take the biscuit. their two main slogans are

1.84 minimum wage? (note the question mark)
90% of europens would vote no.

the first one is absolute untainted bullshit. it begars belief that anyone would actually believe that. their arguement is that after a european cort of justice (ECJ) ruling known as the Laval case eastern european companies could bring in workers from their own countries to work at a rate lower than the minimum wage. the Lavel case was refered to the european court by the swedish government when the labour court heard a case where a latvian company, laval, brought in workers from latvia at a lower rate than what swedish workers were paid. the european court found in favour of the latvian company. this coir argue would allow foreignh countries to unddermine our minimum wage.

except they deliberatly leave out 2 very important facts.

1. at the time sweden had no legal minimum wage.
2. their collective bargainaing processes were not legally binding.

therefore of course the company could pay whatever wages they wanted, there were no laws preventing them from doing so in sweden. this was a failing of swedish law, not european.

ireland on the other hand does have a minimum wage. it is legally binding and cannot be set by the eu or anyone else. this is a national competency end of story. the arguemant is therefore bollox.

the second slogan of 90% of europeans would vote against this is not a survey it is a quote from eu commisioner charlie mccreavy. one man. not a poll or a study but a quote from one man. the text explaining this is miniscule on the posters, you would need a ladder and a microscope to see this. this i said to them was deliberatly missleading.

oh and they also said that qualified majority voting is dictatorship. so therefore democracy is dictatorship, this really is amazing

honestly if their arguement to vote no had any merit they would not have to lie about it

http://www.etui.org/en/Headline-issues/Viking-Laval-Rueffert-Luxembourg

the lady and the bag of chips

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:57:12 GMT

on saturday i think i saw the funniest theing id ever seen. mysle anf spear_of_lugh after a small visit to the to the festival of world cultures ended up in charlies chinese restaurant with ciaran enjoying some food about the same temperature as belarus in 1986 when in walked this woman.

to be honest i heard her before id seen her. in a shril seudo posh and very pissed voice she demanded chips. of course she sat down beside us, i looked over and she looked like the jokers decrepid sister. about 40, pink glued on eyelids, smeared lipstick and eyeliner, dressed in 50s gear. a real looker. and she proceeded to tell us. 'im gorgeous. amnt i gorgeous' she said. we stared at our food trying not to laugh. undaunted she continued 'im also very rich. id.....id....id ruin you!. wheres my chips?'.

after a minute the chips arrived to which she told the girl there she loved her. there was much more mumbling and so forth then she picked up the plate of chips....and emptied into her handback. soy sauce and all. she then knicked brendans chilli sauce, added it to them and proceeded to eat the chips from the handbag. of course by this stage we could no longer contain ourselves and were splitting our laughing while she gobbled down chips uttering 'im gorgeous. im gorgeous'. we honestly werent in any postion to argue.

now being the lady she was she obviously realised she couldnt be seen eating chips from her handbag in the taxi. so the took the plate and shoved it in their too. at this point the woman who worked there aproached took the plate from her bag. the lady looked up, 'i love you' she said. 'i love you too' the woman replied. and off she went into the night and presumably, accident and emergency.

also classic line from the night from an italian girl who ciaran got on very well with.

girl: i didnt think you two were irish. i thought he was italian (to ciaran). you look irish (to me)
me. i take it thats a bad thing.
girl. yes!

nice

Top ten jokes from edinburgh festival

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:19:36 GMT

Personally i prefer 5, 8 and 10. but them i am an idiot

• 1) Dan Antopolski - "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?"

• 2) Paddy Lennox - "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: 'This could be interesting'."

• 3) Sarah Millican - "I had my boobs measured and bought a new bra. Now I call them Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes because they're up where they belong."

• 4) Zoe Lyons - "I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West."

• 5) Jack Whitehall - "I'm sure wherever my dad is; he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."

• 6) Adam Hills - "Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You know you're going to get it, but it's going to be rough."

• 7) Marcus Brigstocke - "To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it!"

• 8) Rhod Gilbert - "A spa hotel? It's like a normal hotel, only in reception there's a picture of a pebble."

• 9) Dan Antopolski - "I've been reading the news about there being a civil war in Madagascar. Well, I've seen it six times and there isn't."

• 10) Simon Brodkin (as Lee Nelson) - "I started so many fights at my school - I had that attention-deficit disorder. So I didn't finish a lot of them."

Stuff you need to know

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 12:34:58 GMT

YAY! more awesome comics from www.ep.tc. id love to know where he sources this stuff.

America beware. this what will happen if you have decent healthcare!

next thing you know theyll be letting the sodomites in the back door. oops

only one thing for it...

were gonna have to have sex with guns

Otherwise you know who might take over.

I um duh luh

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 09:53:04 GMT

There must be some sort of law, like murphys law which says anything that can go wrong was probably thought up by fianna fail or boyles law which says expanding gasses is proportional to your success on britains got talent, which says that anything on the internet where you allow discussion on any subject whatsoever will inevitably fall into an american vs some other country or creationist vs human arguement after about 20 comments or so.

they usually start with FUCKTARD! or NICE GOIN ERROR BALLS! they are followed by someone called ihatemarmite268 winning the arguement by pointing out that its 'your opinion' not 'you're opinion'.

we all know youtube is the worst for this, theres no way i can get my eyes to look away from the comments on these videos, especially the ones that have 7 thumbs down because they say something like 'everyone known the mayans were taught how to build pyramids by brian blessed. maybe you should get out more wrongo!'

the latest one i came accross was on a site anouncing theyre going to remake Judge Dredd. this got me all a flutter, you see when i was a teenager i looooved the judge dredd comics, it was a little obsesive. but when that bloody film came out i nearly died. i mean for fuck sake, a man is convicted of a murder he didnt commit by his evil twin? and rob schneider? seriously? wayda go error balls!

they better get it right this time or i will sneak into their house at night, move all the furniture around, paint the black things white and the white things black and when they wake up theyll think theyre a negetive back from the chemist. thatll show them

The zombies are coming! quick, release the infuriated rhino!

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 09:36:55 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8206280.stm

Its official, were fucked! totaly fucked. game over man, its game over. time was getting short, four more weeks and out! (oh wait thats aliens)

if a plague of zombies comes, and come they will (i just hope they dont get any on my shoes). they will take over and they will win.

but hey lets look on the bright side. since zombies are going to destroy the world we might as well have a bit of fun why not polute the fuck out of the place. im off to buy a jump jet and a shit load of plastic stuff so i can crash into a zombie filled tower in a blaze of consumeristic righteousness!

and there further good news. if there are survivours, think of how cool the new bible will be. plague of locusts? please?

Five Words

Thu, 13 Aug 2009 12:46:07 GMT

Ok heres the game ive been given five words that describe me now ive to write about them. these are from nollipop

Piercing - e' gad, i cant believe its been ten years since i started piercing and nearly 3 since i stopped. I started in a place called snakebite in dublin and did my aprenticeship at the same time as my degree. consequently not doing the best at either. after that i went to work in a toilet run by the biggest arseholes in the world. i lost my job there and sued them for unfair dismissel (5 and a half grand, thanks very much). but the funniest part was this. I couldnt claim the dole because it turns out they werent paying my taxes, they said i also worked for a crowd called 'entertainment enterprises for 2 days and earned 8 grand (they dont exist) and most spectacularly of all in 2003 , according to what they submitted on my tax, i worked over 450 days. that shit is going on my CV!

there were some fun times though. in fact my first ever enrty here was about it http://sensibleken.livejournal.com/2003/04/27/

Politics - politics is something i spend way too much time thinking about. mainly because our country is quite fucked up about now. I have gotten a bit more extreme lately due to the unmasking of capitalism as a make-believe system and would firmly put myself down as a card carrying Socialist (dont run american friends im not gonna kill your grandparents).
to me its just mind boglingly obvious the the priorites of political structure should be the welfare and happiness of its people. of course, happiness cannot be garunteed by the state but there are somethings that should be garunteed, the maintenance of health, the security of life, the right to education, the ability to raise a family without financial concerns through the provission of free childcare, maternity leave etc. all should be open and available to all citizens regardless of any other consideration. if these simple things are not garunteed there is very little to be gained from living in a state for those born to disadvantage.

History - I have always been a bit of a history nerd. i am now however a HUGE history nerd, especially irish history. I dont just think of it as remembering times past or oohing and awing at old buildings but rather what they said about people.
when it comes to the great neolithic passage tombs of ireland speculation is rife about what lives were like and it annoys me to no end when i hear mainly new agers shitting on about them based on crap they read in the mind body spirit section and nothing to do archaeology. the one thing that is obvious is the sheer scale of co operation and deteminism from a very small poppulation working with stone tools to create mind blowing feats of engineering and art. we know there was no writing aswell so all skill must be passed down orally, which implies strong social ties. the skill with which beatifull artifacts were carved such as the knowth macehead implies a level of speciallity and thus a division of labour. this could only come out of a social structure where basic needs were catered for, ie make sure the artisan has enough to eat.
i could go on and on and on but let me just announce my few pet peeves about misrepresenting irish history

1. the celts did NOT have dreads. neither did the vikings. they just didnt. theres no evidence, get over it.
2. sile na gigs and ogham cant be pagan. if they were why would sile na gigs lay dormant until the 11th century. and ogham is based on the roman alphabet.
3. passage tombs were not built by aliens. if they were why the fuck would they be built out of limestone. same goes for the maya. give us paddys some credit.

Comedy - i had a brief stint as a stand up comedian a few years back, it went well but is beyond a doubt the most stressful thing you can ever do. i do miss it though.

Food - Ive never been a huge fan of food. in fact up until about 2 years ago i really thought of eating as a chore. hence the fact i was 8 stone. still though since then i have put on a few ponds thank god.
thing i hate most about food: that my two favourite things humus and tofu dont go together
thing i like the most: that when all is said and done, we vegitarians will rule the world and youll all be dead from cjd :)

For god sake

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 22:16:27 GMT

the last four ads in a row were for cosmetic surgery, hair growth, hair removal, teeth whitening. for christ sake we werent always so obsessed.........

... this is what i prefer

Kerry part 4 - slán go foil

Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:04:51 GMT

ok last photodump from kerry. Saturday came around and it was time to reluctantly leave. i really really didnt want to go. partly because it was so beautiful, partly that i was back in work on monday (spit spit) but mostly because it meant that nolly was going home the next day. boo!

firstly there was disposing of the rubbish kerry style. ie burn in a big fire. one week out for lughnasa though

. come to think of it thats not too bad for 4 people over a week.

also being the abode of brendan there had to be a skull tied to a tree somewhere.

Brendan raises a buckfast toast to fungi the dolphin on his wy home. wats that fungi? theres two boys with there heads stuck in a reef? and you put them there?

Passing by we stopped shortly at the south pole inn. famous because its original owner tom crean was a famous antartic explorer in the early 20th century. we didnt stop for a pint cause it was so full of tourists.

and now for the piece of resistance. anyone with a sensitive religious gland or hillarity ganglion should look away now

a few weeks ago some tree surgeons were cutting down a tree in the grounds of a church in kerry. when one noticed the unmistakable image of the virgin mary staring out from the tree stump.

the place has since become a shrine and site of pirgrimige for nutcases and people who should have gone to specsavers.

what do youmean you cant see it?

this is conered in rosary beads, holy pictures and for some reason a squeeky cow !?

man what an ugly bitch. no wonder she stayed a virgin.

Random surfing

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 18:16:48 GMT

its amazing what you can come across on google when your looking for something else. what do you think was being asked when they got this response on yahoo answers

"punch her... shes not pregnant in the face!!"